Yesterday’s ultrasound raised more questions than answers. The doctor measured the heartbeat at 112bpm (it should be around 125), but measured the baby at only 6 weeks 2 days. I was at 7 weeks 3 days, and this measurement was only one day more than the last time. Not reassuring. He explained that it is a possibility that the baby was pointed away from us, therefore making it difficult to get an accurate crown-to-rump measurement, but I’ve never heard that as an explanation before. And believe me, we’ve been Googling this stuff nearly non-stop. I guess I’m taking it as a positive that we’ve now passed the point that we miscarried last time, but it’s a very small positive amidst all of the negatives.
Saturday we were in a rush to do all of the “happy” things that we may not have wanted to do after the ultrasound, so we got our Christmas tree up and finished painting the nursery. We’ve had baby furniture in there for almost a year (we got a really great deal from a friend), and with this pregnancy we finally decided on how we would like to have it painted – cream and tan stripes. We got the tape up before the first ultrasound, and there was no way I was living with blue tape on the walls until maybe the next pregnancy someday, so we finished it. It’s beautiful… just what we had imagined, and it’s breaking my heart a little bit. Here’s what it looks like so far:
Last week after the ultrasound, we were feeling sad and heartbroken, thinking that it was just a matter of time. This week, I think we are more frustrated than anything. Why don’t the doctors know more about this? Why can’t he explain the reason this lack of growth has happened twice now? He told us, “At least if you miscarry again, you’ll get the full work-up”. Great, that makes me feel SO much better. All he really had to say was that it’s alive for now, we needed to wait and see, and come back in another week.