Another Month, Another Try

I haven’t posted in awhile, mostly because there hasn’t been anything to update. Partly because the last two weeks, after NOT ovulating (thank you very much follicular cyst), I wasn’t analyzing every little detail of my body’s existence, or making myself crazy over “Am I pregnant?” “Am I not?” questions. It was really nice, for the first time in a year and a half, to not be thinking about those things.

Miss Maggie (our new pup), is doing amazingly well. She is the sweetest puppy I’ve had thus far! She is super attached to me, which is just what I needed, and cuddly (although still kind of a snappy alligator). Maybe the attached part is in part because she is deaf? She doesn’t like for me to leave her sight. So cute! Here are some pictures from her first beach trip.

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I saw the counselor, in an hour-long, draining, sobbing session. I talked a lot about how angry I am with the world and my friends for (what feels like) abandoning me, but I left without a clear picture of how attending counseling might be able to help me deal with the loss of our baby. She was validating, but would I have to rehash things week after week? It seemed like what I’m feeling are some of the stages of grief, and people are always saying you can’t rush people through those. So I’m not going back. Oh well. That one session was so exhausting that I kept nearly falling asleep at the wheel on my way home.

In TTC news, we are on track for a try this month. The follicle with the cyst was back to a somewhat normal size, and they didn’t think it would hinder ovulation this month. The nurse briefly discussed upping my Clomid dose again, but since I’ve had three eggs on 100mg twice now, she said “We don’t want triplets!”. To which, I of course responded, “I really don’t care at this point!”. I go in for the mid-cycle ultrasound on the 23rd (CD12), and should be shooting up with the goods a day or two after. If we don’t get pregnant this time, I guess the next step is Letrizole. Clomid time after time has felt very stagnant. Like, “This isn’t working, but let’s just keep trying!”. IUI with frozen donor sperm may be on the menu as well. I’m just happy we are moving forward! What try are we on again?

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10 thoughts on “Another Month, Another Try

  1. I haven’t had a chance to read thru your whole story yet but I will! I just wanted to say with my IUIs on clomid I sometimes had 4-5 good follicles when I triggered and didn’t get pregnant so wouldn’t get too worried about multiples. I am thinking Letrizole is femera? My friend used that and she has 2 beautiful girls from donor sperm so that might be worth a try. When I used it it had much less side effects!! Oh and the pup is sooooooo cute!!
    http://amandaraye210.blogspot.com/

  2. Isa says:

    OMG that is the cutest puppy EVER. Ever. I’m also not good with counselling. I can see how other people get a lot out of it, but I just feel like I’m being watched and it makes me nervous.

  3. Roxxroxx says:

    Good to see another post from you. Good good good luck!Your puppy is absolutely adorable!

  4. Awww, she is so cute! 😀

    I’ve had a lot of counselling in the past (for non-TTC issues). Sometimes it helped and sometimes it didn’t. I think you know whether it’s right for you or not. The only thing I would add is that different counsellors can take very different approaches, so sometimes it’s worth trying a few, but only if you feel it’s something you’d like to pursue.

    Thinking of you and crossing my fingers for your next cycle.

    • thebings says:

      Thank you. I’ve had a few breakdowns since deciding not to return to counseling and regretted my decision, but overall I think it was right for me. Maybe another counselor would have been better, but I can’t add that search onto my plate right now!

  5. sarmarog says:

    Your dog is so cute!

  6. MrsT says:

    Maggie is so precious! I’m cheering for you gals & wishing you the best as you move forward! Keep us updated 😊

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