Sunday we went back for my second mid-cycle ultrasound, and the news wasn’t great. The follicle they saw is indeed a cyst, although it does seem to be shrinking. It was 8.9mm this time, down from 12.7mm on Thursday. So no ovulation this month, and no try. And the hormones from the cyst could throw off my cycle for the next try. It’s so frustrating! I’d like to at least have the opportunity to become pregnant.
I contacted my school’s student counseling department today to hopefully get someone (albeit a counseling student) to talk to. It’s been almost three months since the miscarriage, and I still cry about it nearly every day. I don’t know what “normal” is like in these situations, but it doesn’t feel good to continue carrying this around. Maybe I haven’t fully dealt with it. I cried in class today over a video of a mom interacting with her baby. And half my cohort still doesn’t know what happened. They must think I’m a weirdo. =) Anyhow, I’m keeping busy with our new pup, Maggie, and maybe it’ll be nice to not have the wondering and the awful two week wait this cycle. (That’s me trying to convince myself to look at the positive… and really not succeeding at it.)
I wish there was more we could do… The RE hasn’t offered a next step, so I feel like we’re stuck. Clomid, trigger, at-home insemination. I wish they would work with us and our known donor so we could do an IUI. The Clomid was working, until this cycle, but I’ve been on it for awhile. At what point do we do something more?