Bitter

This morning was my mid-cycle ultrasound, the first with my OB instead of the RE. The ultrasound tech also happened to be the mother of a student. Awkward… Because it was a tech instead of a doctor or nurse practitioner, she couldn’t tell us anything during the procedure. So we ended up waiting over an hour afterwards for the doctor to give us the results.

He said, “Everything looks good!” Hehe, clearly not used to a patient well-versed in the reproductive world. We were like, umm, can we have the numbers?

I have two dominant follicles this cycle, and a third possible contender – the same as last time. All on my right side! The largest was 18.7mm, then 16.1mm, and 14.3mm for the smaller two. A little smaller than last cycle, but those li’l guys have been through a lot. My lining measured at 8.6mm, also smaller than last time, but I guess to be expected after a D and C, and still a good number. Maybe this way I’ll have less chance of a subchorionic hemorrhage.

The nurse had called in the Ovidrel trigger shot prescription last Thursday, but when she called to check today, the pharmacy had never ordered it. So tomorrow I’ll be driving an hour and a half to pick it up, and hopefully they’ll have it at that pharmacy in the morning by the time I’d like to take the shot.

The waiting room this morning was killer. That’s definitely one drawback of seeing my OB. The majority of his patients are pregnant! One was having her scheduled c-section (ugh) and complaining loudly about how sick of being pregnant she was. Who knows if I’ll be feeling that way after nine months, but for now, I hate hearing it. I’m so bitter! I don’t know if I’ll ever get over that feeling towards people who are so ungrateful for what they have.

A friend of mine was talking the other day about her plan for getting pregnant, and asked if that was offensive to us. It’s not that it’s offensive, it’s just that they don’t seem to realize that it could happen to them. Her response? “I’m still young.” Umm, I’m younger than you! I hope I’m not always this bitter, but I can’t help imagining when I do have a baby finally, and her with one not much younger and after no struggle at all, and I can’t imagine myself being okay with that. Let’s hope that once I’m pregnant with a healthy baby that I will be able to let go of all of this.

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One thought on “Bitter

  1. Isa says:

    Ugh about the family planning convo. I hate to wish infertility issues on anyone, but that particular statement is just so offensive!

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