Our visit to the RE

So we inseminated on the 11th and 12th of this month, putting us right smack-dab in the middle of the two-week wait.

We also saw the RE on the 16th, and we were not happy with the way that visit went.  He was nice enough, but so impersonal!  And he totally had his own agenda of what needed to be discussed.  We were told that our donor’s sperm would have to be frozen and quarantined for six months before we could use it for IUI.  An FDA rule, apparently, but the caveat is that you don’t have to have a quarantine period if you’ve previously been “intimate” with the guy.  So hetero couples don’t have this issue.  I’m sorry, but wouldn’t you consider having our donor’s semen in me 14 times already “intimate”?  Certainly, if there were any STDs to be had, it would be too late by now.   The doctor was not amused when we brought this up, but the midwife sitting in the room said she thought that should count as “consensual sexual contact”.  They are supposedly checking with their legal team, but we haven’t gotten a response yet.  We both felt a bit discriminated against, although I feel like it’s more of an issue of a woman’s right to choose, than a gay vs. straight thing.  Shouldn’t I be able to choose whose sperm goes inside of me just like anyone else?

He also lectured us on quite a few topics regarding our known donor, and very patronizingly.  Do you have legal documents in place, have you gotten his medical history, has he been tested for infectious diseases, has he had genetic testing, etc.  He looked at us like we were incredibly naive.  Call me old-fashioned, but if I had married a man, I wouldn’t have had him fill out paperwork before we started trying to have kids!  We don’t need a super baby, or a donor who looks amazing on paper, we just want a donor who greatly resembles Michelle in personality, whom we love and wouldn’t mind being a part of our extended family.  And I don’t think he and his wife (our best friends!) are planning on stealing our baby.  Although we did have a few laughs about that being their “grand plan”, since they haven’t been able to have a second child.

So, we are still waiting to find out if we are pregnant this time around (doubtful), and then hopefully we’ll be able to move forward with an IUI.  If not, I know we both would have a very hard time waiting six months for an IUI, so I’m guessing we will continue with what we’ve been doing!  As soon as I start my period, I will have to go in for a baseline ultrasound, start Clomid, and get a mid-cycle ultrasound and a trigger shot.  We’re crossing the one year mark this cycle, and we’ve had a lot to process.

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Seeing an RE

So, we aren’t pregnant. Still. It’s getting so depressing to report that month after month.

I’m taking Clomid again for this next cycle, 50mg days 3-7, but besides making me a b****, I don’t know that it is doing anything in our favor. 🙂

Right after starting my period, I checked the calendar, and of course I’ll be ovulating on Mother’s Day. Which means we need our donor available, which means we’re taking him from his family that day. His family was planning to be out of town that weekend, but when I spoke to his wife, she immediately said they would go a different weekend. They are so amazing! I love love love them and having them in our lives.

We also made an appointment with an RE, scheduled for May 16 (after we inseminate, so I’m not sure how that works). I’m not sure if we’ll run into some issues regarding our known donor either, as I’ve seen/heard that some clinics require sperm to be quarantined if it isn’t your partner’s. Stupid! It isn’t like it hasn’t been in me before. (Lol, that sounds so weird.) Michelle is already up-in-arms about the possibility, and ready to fight them on that point. It IS kind of discriminatory. We’ll see. Just hearing the costs makes me sick. We were paying a lot for the first five months, but lately it’s been basically free with the known donor and at-home inseminations.

I am super glad that I decided to attend the on-campus program for graduate school, though, as I hate feeling like I’m putting off life while we wait for a baby. I’m excited to quit my job and start a new chapter in life! At least we still feel like we’re moving forward.

With the RE, as my friend put it, it’ll be nice to have someone else trying to solve our fertility issues! Maybe that’ll take a weight off. Apparently their program includes stress management and acupuncture – both of which I could use!