Liebster blog award!

We were given this award by babylopez8410 (2girlsandababy) over at http://babylopez8410.wordpress.com/, thank you ladies!  I am happy just to be writing this blog, let alone to have people reading it.  Thrilled! I started this blog so that I could have a place to be completely honest and connect with other women trying to conceive, shall we say, “unconventionally”.  =)  Since we aren’t sharing with our family and friends the exact nature of what we’re doing and going through, this blog and my fellow bloggers have been a godsend!

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The Liebster Blog Award works like this:

  1. Say thanks to the blogger who nominated you, and link back to them.
  2. List 5 fab blogs ideally with fewer than 200 followers that you feel deserve the Liebster Award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
  3. Copy and paste the award to your blog.
  4. Hope that the 5 people you’ve picked are tickled enough to pass the award onto their 5 Favorites!

So here are my top picks (2girlsandababy would have been at the top of the list, but I’m not sure on the rules here!)

1) Bangkok Baby Project  http://lesroxxbangkok.wordpress.com/

This was the first blog I found when joining WordPress, and I love it!  These ladies are currently in the beginning stages of IVF, and I am so grateful to them for sharing their experience.  I wish you guys the best, and am hoping you get some good news soon.

2) theterrelsjourney http://theterrellsjourney.wordpress.com/

I love the upbeat tone of this blog!  This couple just got fantastic news.   MrsT has been such a great supporter for us, and I am so happy for you two.

3) Little Lesbian Baby Blog http://lesbianbabymaker.wordpress.com/

This blog is always making me laugh!  Thank you for brightening my days, and good luck in your journey as well.

4) The Mother Hood http://peepblog10.wordpress.com/

I love the tone of and humor in this blog.  Hope all is well with this blogger; miss hearing from you!

5) Small Obsessions http://mysmallobsessions.wordpress.com/

I’ve been enjoying following these ladies through the last stages of their pregnancy, and I appreciate the words of wisdom for me!  Can’t wait to someday be in your shoes.

Thank you again babylopez8410!

The deed is done

We are officially heading into the two week wait.  With the Clomid, I ovulated 4 days later than I normally would, so this cycle feels like it’s been extended to forever. 

I’m hoping this two week wait goes quickly, and the only thing I can do is try to stay as busy as possible.  My mom and older brother will be visiting this weekend, and next week (spring break here) we will be visiting my aunt – the first time I will have seen her since she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Hopefully that will fill my time, and since Michelle won’t be able to join me, there won’t be any early testing for pregnancy this month.

So here we go! I’m steeling myself for a long couple of weeks.

The endless wait

Today I took my final dose of Clomid for this cycle…  I haven’t felt any effects of it, so I’m nervous that maybe the doctor was right and it won’t make any difference for us. I so hope that’s not the case.. I want there to be a concrete solution for getting pregnant!

I can’t believe how anxious I am to see if it worked. I can’t even sit still, and we still have somewhere from 5-9 days until ovulation (since I have no idea how the Clomid might affect my cycle) plus the typical two week wait. Argh!

I just keep thinking, “please let this be the one…”. We are ready to move forward in our lives and out of this limbo of not being able to plan more than two weeks at a time!

Clomid!

We saw our doctor again yesterday, and went in knowing we wanted to try Clomid and not willing to leave without it. We re-explained our situation, emphasizing our unwillingness to ask our donor for sperm for another year (as doc suggested).  He said giving us the Clomid was no biggie, but he doesn’t think it’ll do the trick for us since I’m already having regular periods.  Thanks for shooting down my hopes doc! 😉

However! He went above and beyond and called a Reproductive Endocrinologist for us to find out more info. So we have a referral and a scheduled test! (The one where they inject the dye to see if there are any blockages. I can’t remember what it’s called. Which apparently you only need if you’ve previously slept with boys. Stupid boys… 🙂 )

I started the Clomid today, and I am so excited! Trying not to get my hopes up too high, but I’m just so happy we’re finally DOING something other than the “wait and see”. I have a feeling this one will be the longest two week wait yet!

Coming clean and moving forward

Not pregnant.  Again.

My aunt was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and had her surgery (double mastectomy) this last week.  We were so busy this month with family and work that there was no time to mull over every possibility of a pregnancy (or pms) sign.  The over-analyst in me thinks about possible due dates every month, and if we had gotten pregnant this time around, our due date would have been my aunt’s birthday.  I thought it was a sign.

I want to come clean about something though.  I haven’t been able to fully commit to this blog and participate in and reap the benefits of the catharsis and community here because I haven’t been completely honest.  We started out trying to get pregnant using purchased, anonymous donor sperm, but the last five months or so we have been using a known donor.  He and his family have been wonderful to us.  So selfless.  It is such an amazing gift that they are giving us the opportunity to start a family.  Although the logistics can be a bit awkward… =)

We drop off sterile cups and give him a heads-up what days we think we’ll need a “donation”. Then when we get the go-ahead from the ovulation test, we call him up with a “the eagle has landed”.  After he is done, he leaves it on the porch, texts back about the “eagle”, and Michelle runs over to pick it up while I prepare things at home.  Funny!

This was the way we wanted to do things from the beginning.  At first, though, our friends were dealing with their own problems with infertility in trying to conceive their second child, and we in no way wanted to interfere.  But now that all is well, and we are going ahead with this, it does complicate things a bit.  We can’t impose on their lives forever.  While it’s easy for the doctor to say to keep trying for a year, that just isn’t in the cards for us.  We don’t have that kind of time.  We can’t have an IUI done in a clinic of IVF because they require the donation to be made there and quarantined for 6 months, and we aren’t going to ask him to do that.  So our options are limited if I can’t get pregnant “naturally”.

After getting the not-pregnant test results, and the breaking down, and the depression, and the period two days late, and two more not-pregnant tests, Michelle called our doctor and insisted he get us in to talk about Clomid or the next steps in infertility testing.  It’s been a year. It’s time.  We can’t ask our donor to do this for much longer; our relationship with them means too much to us to jeopardize it with stress and imposition.  So hopefully, we’ll have good news come Wednesday!  A plan at the very least.  I’m trying not too get my hopes to high, since there’s no guarantee that Clomid will be the end-all-be-all.  It just feels so good to be proactive.  And again, here’s hoping!  =)